Planning a kid's birthday party: a simple timeline

Six weeks out

Decisions first, purchases later. Everything downstream depends on these four.

• Pick a date and a time. Weekend, two hours, and for young kids not during nap time. Check the family calendar and the school calendar for conflicts before you commit.
• Pick a theme and a budget. Ask the kid for the theme; set the budget yourself. The budget decides the venue, the guest count and the food, so settle it before anything else.
• Book the place, or plan it at home. Venues for weekend afternoons go early, so book now (about five weeks out is comfortable). At home: decide inside or outside, and have a rain plan.
• Make the guest list. A common rule of thumb is the kid's age plus one for younger kids; for a class party, the whole class or none of it, to avoid hurt feelings. Write down parents' names and contacts as you go.

Four weeks out: invitations

Send invitations about three to four weeks before the party, with an RSVP date a week before the day. Three weeks is enough notice for most families and short enough that the invite isn't forgotten; a reminder to the non-responders two days after the RSVP date is normal and expected. Paper, text or an online invite all work; the one thing that matters is that the invitation says the start and end time, the address, whether parents stay, and how to RSVP. Ask about allergies on the invitation, so you're not finding out at cake time.

• Send invitations (three to four weeks out).
• Book any entertainment or activity that needs a reservation: a bounce house, a craft, the park pavilion.
• Decide the food: pizza and fruit for a two-hour afternoon party is plenty. Decide whether you're feeding parents too.
• Start a party list for everything you'll need to buy, so the two-weeks-out shopping trip is one trip.

Two weeks out

• Order the cake about 10 days out (bakeries need notice, especially for a themed cake), or pick the recipe and add the ingredients to the grocery list.
• Buy decorations and party favors a week out, from your list, in one trip. Keep favors simple; the kids remember the games, not the bag.
• Track RSVPs and allergies against the guest list, and chase the quiet ones after the RSVP date.
• Plan the games or activity, five days out: three or four short things for younger kids, one bigger activity for older ones. Have one more game than you think you need.
• Plan snacks and drinks a week out, with the allergies in front of you, and arrange for someone to take photos so you're not the one doing it.

The week of the party

• Confirm the venue, the cake and any entertainment by phone or email, early in the week.
• Grocery run for the party two days before: food, drinks, ice, candles, and the things you always forget (matches, serving plates, a knife for the cake, trash bags).
• Charge the camera or phone and clear some space on it the day before.
• Prep what you can the day before: fill favor bags, set up games, make anything that keeps, and write the day-of schedule on a card.
• Set up and decorate on the day, an hour or two before guests arrive, with a helper if you can get one.
• Write thank-you notes in the week after, which a kid can do by drawing a picture for each guest. The template below puts it a week out so it doesn't vanish.

Party-day schedule

For ages 3 to 10, 90 minutes to two hours is plenty; longer parties often end in tears. Here is a two-hour shape that works at home or at a venue.

• 0:00–0:15 Arrivals. A free-play activity that works for one kid or ten: a coloring table, blocks, the bounce house. Nobody waits for everyone.
• 0:15–0:45 Games or the main activity. Short games for little kids, one bigger thing for older ones. Keep the schedule card in your pocket and move on before a game dies.
• 0:45–1:05 Food. Pizza, fruit, something crunchy. Sit everyone down; it's also the rest break.
• 1:05–1:20 Cake. Candles, the song, photos, cake. Cut small slices.
• 1:20–1:45 Free play or a second activity. Presents can be opened now or later at home; for big groups of young kids, later is calmer.
• 1:45–2:00 Favors and goodbyes. Hand out favors at the door as families leave, which also signals that the party is ending.

Put the end time on the invitation and on the schedule, and start winding down 15 minutes before it. A party that ends on time is one parents say yes to next year.

Use the Birthday party template

HouseChief's projects include a Birthday party template that is this timeline as dated to-dos. Pick the template, set the party date, and each step is counted back from it: pick a theme and a budget five weeks out, book the place 30 days out, make the guest list four weeks out, send invitations three weeks out, order the cake 10 days out, buy decorations and favors, plan snacks and drinks and track RSVPs and allergies a week out, plan games five days out, the party grocery run two days out, charge the camera the day before, set up and decorate on the day, and thank-you notes a week after. It's organized into sections (Plan, Invites, Food, Decor and fun, Day of, After), and you can edit any step, give it an owner and a reminder, and save your version as a template for next year.

You can also ask your Chief of Staff in plain language: "Plan Ruby's fifth birthday party on March 14 for eight kids." It proposes the project, which you approve before it's created, and you can hand it errands on the way, like checking a venue's availability page in its browser; it stops and asks before anything is submitted. The party-day snacks go on the aisle-sorted grocery list, and the cake can go on the family calendar where the other parent will see it.